Being a caregiver for a loved one is a great way to give back to the person who helped raise you, but it can also be challenging even on the good days.   When your loved one is resistant to care being provided, the job becomes only more difficult. The cause of resistance can be attributed to several factors, including unwavering stubbornness and declining cognition.

In this week’s blog post, our expert caregiver agency in the greater Vancouver area discuss how to approach a senior loved one who is resistant to care. In the first part of the article we will look at some of the reasons why your loved one may not be open to care despite it being needed. In the second part of the article, we will explore different ways to help your loved on accept care.

Why Your Loved One May Resist Care

Growing old can often mean approaching new limitations; mental, physical and psychological.  A person is typically resistant to care being provided to them when there is a loss of some kind. Whether it is a loss of independence or a loss of a loved one, dealing with the loss can be very difficult for your loved one.

Growing older does get rid or diminish the pain   of loss nor does it make the idea of death easier. Your loved one may struggle with making sense of this and will resist care because they are in fact resisting gradual decline.

Another reason why your loved one may resist care is because they want to retain their sense of independence. For them a loss of independence is a loss of quality of life. They may also fear being a burden to family members who have busy lives. Essentially, they hold of on receiving care to preserve their perceived notion of quality of life, even when their perception does not align with reality.

How to Approach Your Loved One about Care

There are a few ways to approach a loved one about care.  The best time may be at a time that is most convenient/comfortable for them. They may find it easier to talk in the comfort of their home or they may prefer to take a walk in the nearby park.  Avoid forcing the situation and to change the topic if you notice your loved one is getting agitated.

Another suggestion is to allow your loved one to have input into the care they want to receive. Ask them questions about what kind of care they would prefer. Make sure that you communicate that you understand their wishes and will try to accommodate them. Also use the opportunity to explore available options. Would they prefer home care provider? Again, be open to their input and suggestions and given your loved one a sense of control.

Should that not work, another option to consider is asking for advice from siblings, spouses, friends or health care professionals. That person may be able to persuade your loved one into receiving care.

More Care Means More Independence

Many seniors see home care as a loss of independence. That’s not necessarily true. Opting for in-home care ensures your loved one can remain at home longer and enjoy a full, independent life.  Let your loved one know that accepting care is a way of prolonging their preferred lifestyle, not ending it.


ACE Personnel is a family owned and operated service founded in 1977 by Diane Anderson (“Mrs. A”). It began as a home-based business and has since been devoted to helping the local community with childcare and home care solutions. Mrs. A took great pride in the fact that she was able to help others through elderly care and nanny placements. She took time to get to know her each of her clients and as a result developed lasting relationships with many of them.

Contact us today if you are looking for a professional caregiver or homecare for your loved one.